Novel Noms

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Frosted Toast Crunch. Frosted Toast Crunch. F-r-o-s-t-e-d…T-o-a-s-t…C-r-u-n-c-h. If you have had Cinnamon Toast Crunch like anyone who isn’t a Nazi has, then you know the flavor. A fine cereal that did a-okay all on its own. Then, one day, the good folks at General Mills had a meeting. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have a problem. Sales of Cinnamon Toast Crunch have started to slip. And while waning is part of any market place, we feel we need to do something. And something FAST. I’ve brought you all here for a little blue skying session. Here’s the deal; we’ve done all we can with such a fine, sugary cereal. We’ve taken sugar, formed it into squares, then added sugar on top of that. Now we need something new. Something innovative and fresh. There are no dumb ideas here people. Give me what you got. Yes you. The new guy in the back. ‘James’ is it?”

“Well sir, what if we added more sugar to it?”

Slow clap leads to ‘hoisted on shoulders with chants of JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY’.

It’s sweet. Oh my god is it sweet. It’s not necessarily bad. In fact, it’s kind of good. But I am just not a huge fan of cereals whose only requirements are that you have no long term attachment to your teeth. And while I don’t find it better than Cinnamon Toast Crunch, it certainly is worthy of a second buy. So on taste, I’ll go 4 out of 5. And on sweet, I’ll just say that if you don’t have diabetes now, just wait.

Being gluten-intolerant isn’t easy. People have misconceptions as to what gluten is. Even restaurants. So there have been many times when I’ve gotten a meal, only to get sick later and curse the menu that screamed “GLUTEN FREE” proudly. 

A few months ago I noticed a bright green marquis on my drive to work that hawked a gluten free bakery ( http://www.gourmetgirlsglutenfree.com/ ). I finally had a chance to stop in today and had nice chat with the young ladies behind the counter. Very knowledgable, friendly and ready to answer questions and offer information. 

I wanted to try a cross-section of items. I picked up an everything bagel ($2) which I thought was delicious and had fantastic texture (not found often in GF breads). 

I had a “popper” cupcake - vanilla with a light, airy vanilla whipped frosting covered by a chocolate crispy shell & sprinkles. The cupcake itself was a little dense, but paired with the frosting and crispy chocolate shell it was sheer heaven. 

The last thing I bought was a personal pizza crust. I brought it home to have for lunch and topped it with some chicken breast, parmesan cheese, red peppers, basil, olive oil, garlic and cracked black pepper. It was positively delicious. Mouth-watering even.  The crispiness of the crust almost brought me to tears. To be able to have that amazing taste with a fantastic texture and know it won’t make me sick! Amazing. 

I know that many of you don’t live in Tucson. But I wanted you to know that these little gems exist. It’s comforting to know that I can find amazing foods that not only won’t make me sick, but they taste great and I know I could share them with my friends & family and they’d enjoy them as well. 

If you DON’T have these little places in your town, tell your local bakeries what your needs are. Make them stand up and serve the needs of everyone. They really will rise to the challenge if you give them a chance. 

Happy Friday! 

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*********SPOILER ALERT*********************

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Boys versus Girls. Oy. I’m convinced that the chef world refuses to let go of the old-fashioned notion that men need to constantly be pitted against their opposing gender group in battle for some non-existent throne. Let’s just cook food. Stop it.

From the beginning of the planning period, the team dynamics make it completely obvious as to why the producers are forcing this tired girl vs. boy theme.  The girls all gang up on Beverly. The boys are all cool with each other and getting along fabulously. Girls = bitchy/catty, boys = no drama. Yay for reinforcing stereotypes!  Though, I was ECSTATIC that this challenge didn’t have anything to do with BBQ. Stop it already. We get that you’re in Texas.

Top Chef producers have been really playing up the topical bullying angle this season. Beverly is demure, quiet, and quirky and gets picked on constantly by the other chefs, pretty exclusively the other female chefs. She stands up for herself later, thankfully.  But oy, that dynamic is exhaustingly frustrating to watch.

I don’t care about the décor factor. Frankly, I think it’s a ridiculous expectation of chefs to worry about that aspect. Because, in reality, they’d hire a designer and have a million hands to help out.  It’s the food I care about. And it’s the food that frustrates me most about this episode. There are so many dishes I wanted to know more about. For instance, this ham and egg dish sounds really cool but they never really explain how it’s constructed or what’s in that blasted little glass jar! That drove me insane the entire episode.

But really, this lack of focus on the food just demonstrates how far reality TV has gotten away from content and focuses more on the arguing, conflict and discord.

Anyway, I digress. The main brouhaha for the boys team was the server/expediting issues. I can’t imagine that these top executive chefs didn’t consider who would be coordinating the execution of their service. It was tough to watch and I wanted to hug Paul and tell him everything was going to be okay.

I liked that this season they gave the teams a bit more of an even playing field. They each get one night in the restaurant. Same serving staff.  Same restaurant.  None of that competing for customers aspect. Granted, one team may have an advantage giving them extra time to plan and work out a game plan based on the failures of the first team. But, judging by the chaos in the women’s kitchen, they didn’t take advantage of that.

After they focused on Paul’s story so much, and lamented about how he was always held to such high expectations by his parents, yadda yadda yadda, I was SURE he was going to be the one going home.  And Lindsey,  ah Lindsey. I wanted to throttle her throughout her entire service.  She was bitchy, demanding, rude, and poured on that cliché southern charm to point of annoyance. She vacillated between that syrupy sweet drawl and an air of seeming like she just didn’t care about seating the judges and attending to the other customers.  I couldn’t understand why she would choose a dish (being front of the house as she was) that would take that much finesse. No one will ever cook anything the exact same way you will. That dish was 100% her doing, regardless of who fired it. In my eyes, Lindsey has yet to deliver on any of the promises of her fancy work history.  

The real gem on the ladies team for me is Greyson. She’s always fairly calm, stands up for herself, and helps bridge the “mean girls” with the rest of the team.  And, her peach salad looked so amazing it instantly made me want to go in the kitchen and figure out how to make a bacon vinaigrette.  

So, Beverly wins, which is an eff you to her bitchy team, which I appreciate but also recognize as just part of the cliché story the producers wanted to build. Right down to Sarah, the mean girl, kissing Lindsey’s ass in the stew room and trying to say that they wouldn’t have won without her. Blah.

And then the big shocker for me. They spent the most time lambasting Chris and Paul. Chris only did one dish and just helped a little bit on other dishes. None of which were very good.  And Paul had his hand in three main dishes which didn’t really deliver. When Padma told Tai to pack his knives I shouted “WHAT?!?!?!” It made no sense. I’m guessing his story isn’t compelling enough. Who knows.

Another lackluster Restaurant Wars. Oh well. I’m looking forward to the end of this underwhelming season of my favorite show.